And So It Begins

I have been wondering what would happen within the family now that FIL has been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. His prognosis is less than a year and we were told this would be the last set of holidays he would probably see. There has been lots of tension within the family lately. Many of you have seen me lament about some of the poop I have put up with. I have watched from afar as they have shunned yet another SIL. It is truly horrible how these folks treat others.

Now that FIL is sick, everyone is apparently trying to kiss and make up. Although that sounds all well and good, I have a major problem with it. They want their Dad to die knowing that everyone is getting along and is happy. That is a total sham. I feel like I am being asked to put aside my differences when nothing is really solved.

Yesterday I got a note from one of the brothers that was the instigator in the issue that finally broke the camel's back a few years ago with me. It is what prompted my 'divorce' from S's family. It was a nice apology, sort of. But my point is that he really doesn't get it. He wants me to come to the family gathering on 12/22, because we know it will be FIL's last (more than likely).

I am not sure I even know how to respond to the note. S and I have talked at length and he totally understands my position. I have told S he should respond to the email, thank his brother for sending it, and then tell him we will do what we always do, make the decision based on what is right for us and for our family and hope that they will respect that. That's all I have ever asked for, the respect one adult gives to another. While we may not always agree with each other's decisions and opinions, I feel that we should always show respect. And that is not something I have ever got from that family.